Readings

Before I came into Al-Anon, I thought that my fate was entirely connected to that of my alcoholic loved one. I thought that when my loved one got sober, our family problems would go away. I felt helpless waiting for that to happen.

Desperate for change, I went to Al-Anon. I learned that alcoholism is a family disease, and I adopted the slogan, “Let It Begin with Me.” For me, “It” represents recovery. Let recovery begin with me.

I can be the one to bring recovery into my home and family. I can be the one to attend my meetings regularly. I can be the one to “Listen and Learn.” I can be the one to get a Sponsor and work the Twelve Steps of recovery. I can be the one to practice these principles in all my affairs. I no longer have to wait for anyone else. As I continue to become healthier working my recovery program, I bring that healthier “me” to every “we” I am part of.

Let recovery begin with me.

By Susan O.

Before I came to Al‑Anon, I thought I was a great listener and that I had the answers to everything. I would often give advice and voice my opinions, even when no one asked. I did this mostly with my husband, who’s the alcoholic in my life, but it also extended to my stepchildren, coworkers, and just about anyone else who crossed paths with me.

Then I finally came to the program. One morning, after I made a comment to my stepdaughter about her outfit, my husband confronted me in a fit of rage over my actions. Confused, I called my Sponsor to discuss the situation. After I told her my story, she asked, “Did your stepdaughter ask for your opinion?” I replied, “No.” She gently explained that next time I can try to refrain from offering an opinion unless I’m asked. It’s been two years since that incident, and I’ve learned that if I wait and listen to what’s being said to me, I will hear much more than I could ever anticipate.

By Vicki M

I have never been a drinker, but I have had to face the fact that I was powerless to stop my young son from drinking. What was it like for me to admit I was powerless over alcohol? It was sickening and terrifying. There was so much damage, and some continues today. I have had to learn how to live with the possibility that my worst fears might come true. I mean truly live, not just spend my time hunkered down in dread or trying to protect him. I love him, but I do not owe him the sacrifice of the rest of my life.

He is the only one who can decide to change his drinking, and my involvement in that distracts him from facing reality. I did feel I was to blame and that my inadequate parenting contributed to his drinking, but I could not control or cure it. However, he makes the decision every time he buys and drinks alcohol. Every time he deals with the results of drinking, it is up to him to decide how his priorities might change. Accepting my powerlessness was hard, but this is my reality as a parent. The wording of Step One, “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable,” encourages me and helps me to recognize that I am not the only one facing this situation and finding a way to live fully despite it.

By Anonymous

At one of my first Al-Anon meetings, a member shared that a reading helped to clear up her thinking—like cleaning off a dirty windshield. She felt she had gained some clarity. When I came to Al-Anon 15 years ago, I was in a fog of denial. Even though there was alcoholism on both sides of my family, I smugly believed I came from a “perfect” family. I chose to blame our son’s active alcoholism on my husband’s family.

When I told my doctor about the troubles our son was having, he recommended Al-Anon. I went reluctantly, and I chose a meeting an hour from my hometown. I felt embarrassed and ashamed! I kept going back to meetings and gained a clearer perspective on alcoholism and the part I play in this family illness.

Every day, I kept going back to the Al-Anon readers. Every week, I attended meetings. I learned that I was there for myself, not for my son or others’ problems. My distorted thinking began to clear up, and I gained a clearer perspective. And I kept coming back!

I struggled with finding a Sponsor. Eventually, an Al-Anon friend and I decided to work the Twelve Steps together. And we did! Step One taught me I am not in control of alcohol or other people. I am only in charge of myself and the choices I make about my attitudes and behaviors. My vision sharpened as I faced this reality and acquired the spiritual principles of honesty and acceptance. I kept coming back.

Members recommended service work, and I gave it a try. I pushed through social fears to share at meetings. Next, I volunteered to lead meetings. Helping to organize Family Recovery Nights, alongside other Al-Anon and A.A. members, was both fun and rewarding. Service work helps me learn how to cooperate with others in a healthy, non-domineering way.

After all these years, I am grateful I kept coming back to see what I couldn’t see without Al-Anon’s help.

By Kathleen O.

The Forum, September 2025

Before I was in Al-Anon, I was sure it was my job to get my alcoholic husband to stop drinking. I thought it was my job to control everything: the household and the finances. I made excuses for him. I knew everything would be great if he just stopped drinking. He finally hit bottom, and so did I. He went to rehab and took recovery seriously.

Thanks to Al-Anon, I discovered I was handling it all wrong and that by taking control of everything, I had made him feel worthless. I had hurt his feelings. We both started working on our programs, and what a difference it has made to use the tools of the Twelve Steps, the slogans, and the literature. We are continually growing through our programs now. We are both so glad to know we don’t have to be perfect. I love the slogan “Progress Not Perfection.” Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon have saved our lives.

By Leslie R.

The Forum, August 2025

Letting go is never easy. Many of us struggle to let go of things that no longer serve us, whether it’s an old pair of shoes from eighth grade, an object we think we might need someday, or even emotions and thoughts. It’s natural to feel a sense of fear or nostalgia when deciding what to hold on to, but life teaches us we can’t keep everything.

In Al‑Anon, I’ve learned this lesson through taking a searching and fearless moral inventory, which reminds me to be humble, ask for help, and let go of traits, habits, and things that don’t benefit me. This practice also applies to the question, “How does the World Service Office (WSO) decide what to keep in its Archives?”

Years ago, the Archives Advisory Committee, guided by Concept Eleven, helped the WSO Archives team evaluate what to preserve. Though this committee is no longer used in the World Service Conference Structure, their work provided a foundation for our decision-making. Occasionally, we’ve sought guidance from historians, archivists, or academic institutions to navigate challenging decisions.

Since its beginnings in New York City, the WSO Archives has been dedicated to connecting with the fellowship worldwide. We answer requests, preserve important records and materials, and ensure that our history is carefully documented for current and future generations.

Today, the WSO Archives remains deeply engaged with Area Archives Coordinators through platforms like AFG Connects and quarterly meetings. We also encourage the use of the Area Archives Guideline (G-30), a comprehensive resource for trusted servants stepping into archival and record-keeping roles.

We encourage Areas to preserve their own records and stories. A guiding question we often ask when reviewing donations or curating exhibits is, “How will preserving this item contribute to the history of decision-making in Al‑Anon or help family members and friends of alcoholics?” This thoughtful discernment ensures we retain materials that align with the purpose and spirit of our fellowship, while sometimes suggesting Areas retain specific items themselves.

As we learned from Lois W. and our early pioneers, “We look to the past to preserve the future.” This perspective guides our ongoing efforts to document and safeguard Al‑Anon and Alateen’s history for future members. Like a family passing down its stories, we strive to ensure our legacy is preserved with care and accuracy.

With evolving technology, the WSO Archives now retains many materials digitally, while still keeping historically significant paper records on site. This shift allows us to safeguard our history while embracing modern archival practices.

Just as personal inventories help us grow, archival inventories ensure our fellowship’s stories remain clear and accessible for generations to come. The efforts we make today will continue to benefit members, Staff, Volunteers, and families well into the future.

We invite you to visit the WSO Archives. To book a tour, click here.

For historical research or archival requests, please fill out the Archives Request for Research (AR-9) online form.

By Jennifer U., Archivist & Conference Specialist

The Forum, July 2025

Before I came to Al‑Anon, a counselor told me that my soul was dry. I had no idea what she meant. I was angry and frustrated, and I blamed others for my problems. My dad drank too much, but I didn’t know he was an alcoholic. Growing up in a family where drinking was normal, I had no knowledge of the family disease. I learned that I am an adult child of an alcoholic and was encouraged to go to Al‑Anon. It made all the difference.

I learned that I didn’t cause the alcoholism, I couldn’t control it, and I can’t cure it. I started to pray to something greater than myself even though I didn’t know what that was. In Al‑Anon, I heard the suggestion to “act as if” to begin to develop trust in something. I got a Sponsor and slowly started working the Steps.

Now, I have faith that all is well and that I will be okay no matter what. I believe in a loving Higher Power, and the fear that I once felt is gone, because I don’t try to do everything myself. I am no longer alone, and I look to my Higher Power whenever I need support.

By Amy S.

The Forum, June 2025

Before Al-Anon I trusted everyone and no one. How could that be? I had no boundaries, so I blabbed and complained to anyone who would listen. Yet, I didn’t share with those who mattered in my life, because I might be questioned and held accountable. I rarely let anyone see who I really was.

My husband had an affair the summer before I started attending Al-Anon. I allowed myself to be manipulated. I believed the lies I was told and convinced myself that what I saw and heard was wrong. After discovering the truth, I had all kinds of suspicions and trust issues. Coming to Al‑Anon changed that.

Honestly, after reading Step One, I recognized that my life was unmanageable. I realized that without boundaries, I couldn’t trust anyone, especially myself. So, I kept coming back and started to work on myself.

I continued to go to meetings and got a Sponsor. I began to learn who I was and how fear controlled my life. I learned trust from my Sponsor. She also showed me that my Higher Power has my best interests at heart. She helped me to see how many times I had been taken care of and to believe I would continue to be. I began to trust my Higher Power. I started to feel safe, and I could talk myself down from the ledge of suspicion. Today, when I feel suspicious, I check to see whether I have distorted perceptions and whether fear plays a role. Trust is a decision I can make because I know I am not alone. I rely on my Higher Power.

By Anonymous

The Forum, May 2025

After decades of being a chameleon, changing and adapting myself to safely belong, I didn’t have a solid grasp of who I truly was. The small sense of self I developed growing up in an alcoholic home was further diminished when I dated an abuser, then an alcoholic. There was no room in those relationships for my opinions or growth. I was so lost I couldn’t make any decisions for fear they would be wrong and I would be punished. I needed to be told everything, from what restaurant to eat at to what my interests or goals should be.

Now, after just nine months in Al-Anon, I can look back and see myself more clearly. I wasn’t sure I had made any progress until after I was told it was visible to others. I gave myself another look. I can see slow and gradual progress. I can make decisions. I speak up, but most importantly, I am less reactive. I feel less responsible for my alcoholic loved one’s mood or problems. The woman I want to be can still care for others while holding boundaries. The woman I want to be can pause and think of the response I know can be more effective for my goal—a woman whose own north has a stronger pull than anyone else’s.

I can forgive my mistakes and character defects because they weren’t born from malice. Living life for myself and not someone else is an easier battle today, and one I don’t back down from as readily as I did in the past. My alcoholic loved one and I are separate people, and I am worthy of mattering equally as a partner.

By Levi L.

I am powerless over having two adult children directly affected by alcoholism. I am powerless over the fear I have related to this disease. However, Al‑Anon has taught me that I am not powerless over my responses to that fear or how I relate to my adult children.

“Just for Today,” I have been honest about my fear that one of my loved ones may harm himself. I talked with my Sponsor, who listened and validated my feelings. She reminded me that I can go into the past or I can go into the future, but if I do, I will be by myself, because God is only in the present. She reminded me to keep the focus on myself and suggested I use a God box, write my feelings and fears on slips of paper, and place them in this box. This is an action that can help me let go. Since doing this, I’ve not dwelled on those fears.

Another suggestion was to not nurture the fears and instead nurture myself. I nurture myself by doing something I love. I love to dance. Tonight, I will do that.

The last thing I do is to make a list of all that I am grateful for. At the top of my list will be Al‑Anon!

By Barbara A.

I first started attending Al‑Anon meetingsin a desperate attempt to learn how to help my brother find sobriety. My life was unmanageable in that I didn’t know how to get him to seek help, and I was powerless over the control alcohol had over him.

In that first meeting, I heard the phrase “family disease” and the dots of my own life began connecting. I was raised, along with my sister and brother, in an alcoholic family. So many things started to make sense. I would say that neither I nor my siblings have had a healthy relationship with alcohol, and now my brother has the disease.

I realize now how greatly my life has been affected by this disease. Things like lack of confidence, isolation, being withdrawn, fear of speaking up, and being competitive are just a few of the traits that can be at least partially explained by my childhood in alcoholism. Today, I don’t blame my father for this, because that doesn’t change anything. I am the person I am today, and recognizing that the family disease of alcoholism contributed to that brings me some peace.

I was first drawn to Al‑Anon to find out how to help my brother, but I “Keep Coming Back” to help myself.

By Russ B.